As the New Year nears, the question I invite you to ask yourself is: What do you want to take with you into 2023?
Visualize a suitcase – not a rollerboard – but an old time suitcase (something similar to the old world map one pictured here). In it are all of your thoughts, 
ideas, belief systems, everything you were taught and/or influenced by over the past. In other words, your history …whether it was ten or 20 years ago, or yesterday or earlier today.
Now let’s unpack that suitcase and see what’s in it.
What has served you well that you want to continue to avail yourself of? Put that in the now empty suitcase.
What served you well many years ago but upon observation is no longer useful? An example that comes to mind is when we were children we were taught (or at least I was) “don’t talk to strangers.” This was very good advice for young ones for their safety and protection. So let’s say you’re still carrying that around with you, unconsciously of course until now. How does that manifest? Perhaps you’re driving somewhere you’ve never been and you’re lost. The thought never enters your mind to stop and ask for directions. Why? Because your embedded or historical belief system is ‘don’t talk to strangers.’
Now that it’s at the level of awareness, it makes perfect sense to say, “I’m an adult, I can make my own decisions” and release that old belief. But before we toss it away, let’s thank it for taking such good care of us for so long and send it to someone who can benefit from it. But this definitely does not go into your suitcase!
It’s your choice what gets repacked, what gets sent onto the next person, or what gets tossed. Please know there are no ‘shoulds’ or ‘shouldn’ts’ here. There are no right or wrong answers either. You’re in charge.
How to know what is in the suitcase? Sit quietly and hear the voice in your head. (if you don’t know what voice, stop reading and get quiet and you’ll hear it). Write down what it says and know that you can trust that it is one of the belief systems you are carrying around. Usually it’s a simple statement, it could be judgmental, or could be stated as if it were a fact. It is not a fact, it is someone’s opinion and might not even be your own.
There are thoughts and beliefs that need to be challenged because not only do they no longer serve you but some are not even true. Maybe they were never true and someone in authority might have superimposed their own beliefs on you.
Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water however. There are very good thoughts, ideas, and beliefs in that suitcase. They are the very things that have gotten you to this juncture in your life.
Now you have the opportunity to reflect and choose what (and maybe who) goes forward with you into 2023.
I had a major belief that held me back for a bit. Very simply, I heard “You don’t deserve to fill in the blank.” I would hear this one whenever I took a business risk, raised my fees, or stepped out of my comfort zone, both personally and professionally. I didn’t like hearing that voice, and I disliked even more that a part of me believed it. But I had a choice. I could play it safe and maybe that would quell the voice, or I could shift my perception.
I chose to shift my perception and to challenge the ‘deservability’ with a simple. “Yes, I deserve to have it all!” So whenever sometimes, not often anymore, when I am stretching for something I hear that voice and say, “thank you for sharing. Yes I do deserve to have this and anything else I strive for.” Remember we live in an ‘and’ world not an ‘either or’ world. It’s not I can have this but not that, but rather, I can have it all.
Some belief systems I have heard clients report include (I give you these merely as examples):
I can’t make more money than my father, it would be disrespectful.
Why would anyone listen to me or buy my products or services?
Wait until they learn this one thing about me?
Where do you think you’re going, young lady or young man?!
And then there are the ‘yes buts.’
Yes, but remember what happened the last time.
Yes but you’re not old enough/pretty enough/handsome enough/thin enough/tall enough/smart enough..fill in your own blank here.
Please enjoy the process, remember to breathe while doing this. We’d love to hear what you have packed and/or unpacked.
Happy and safe 2023.
Rosanne
About the Author:
ROSANNE D’AUSILIO, Ph.D., an industrial psychologist, consultant, best selling author, executive coach, customer service expert, and President of Human Technologies Global is known as ‘the practical champion of the human. ‘She authors 15 best sellers and her tips newsletter: How To Kick Your Customer Service Up A Notch! at http://www.HumanTechTips.com Visit her site at http://www.drrosanne.com
She contributed to the popular book, Everyday Heroes, Volume 1, which made it to
#1 on Amazon in 9 hours, available at www.drrosanne.com/EverydayHeroes.htm
She represents the human element on the Advisory Board of an Italian software company, authors numerous articles for industry newsletters, and is a much sought after dynamic, vibrant, internationally prominent keynote speaker.
Her main site is www.drrosanne.com with information on her latest endeavors.
In a personal note, she is currently semi-retired and resides in the Washington DC area and in the Caribbean.
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