As the New Year has begun, the question I invite you to ask yourself is, what do you want to take with you into this new year?
Visualize a suitcase – not a rollerboard because that’s too modern – but an old time suitcase and in it is all of your thoughts, ideas, belief systems, patterns–everything you were taught or influenced by others over the past—your history. Let’s unpack this suitcase and see what’s in it.
Good questions to ask yourself include:
1) What has served you well and you want to continue to avail yourself of? Put that in the now empty suitcase.
2) What served you well many years ago but upon observation is no longer useful.
An example that comes to mind is when we were children we were taught (or at least I was) “don’t talk to strangers.” This was very good advice for young ones for their safety and protection. So let’s say you’re still carrying that around with you, unconsciously of course until now. How does that manifest? Perhaps you’re driving somewhere you’ve never been and you’re lost. The thought never occurs to you to stop and ask for directions. Why? Because your embedded rule is ‘don’t talk to strangers.’
Now that it’s at the level of awareness, it makes perfect sense to say, “I’m an adult, I can make my own decisions” and release that old belief.
However, before you toss it away, you might want to thank it for taking such good care of you for so long ,and send it to someone else who can benefit from it. But this does not go into your suitcase!
It’s your choice what gets repacked or what get’s sent onto the next person. There are no ‘shoulds’ or ‘shouldn’ts’ here. There are no ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs.’ You’re in charge.
How to know what is in the suitcase? Sit quietly and hear the voice in your head. Write down what it says and know that you can trust that is one of the belief systems you are carrying forward. Usually it’s a simple statement, it could be judgmental, or could be stated as if it were a fact. It is not a fact, it is someone’s opinion and might not be yours.
There are always thoughts, beliefs, or patterns that need to be challenged because not only do they no longer serve you but they are not true. Maybe they were never true and someone in authority might have their own beliefs superimposed on you.
A word of caution. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. There are very good thoughts, ideas, and beliefs in that suitcase. They are the good things that have gotten you to this juncture in your life.
Now you have the opportunity to reflect and choose what (and maybe who) goes forward with you into 2014.
I had a big belief that held me back for a bit. Very simply, I heard “You don’t deserve fill in the blank.” I would hear this one whenever I took a business risk, raised my fees, or stepped out of my comfort zone, both personally and professionally. I didn’t like hearing that voice, and even disliked more that a part of me believed it. Once I had the awareness, I had a choice. I could play it safe and maybe that would quell the voice, or I could shift my perception.
I chose to shift my perception and to challenge the ‘deservability’ with a simple. ‘Yes, I do deserve to have it all!’ So whenever, though not often anymore, when I am stretching for something I hear that voice and say, “thank you for sharing. Yes I do deserve to have this and anything else I strive for.’
Some belief systems I have clients report include (I give you these merely as examples):
I can’t make more than my father, it would be disrespectful.
Why would anyone listen to you or buy your product or services?
Wait until they learn this one thing about you?
Wait until the other shoe drops!
And then there are the ‘yes buts.’
Yes, but remember what happened the last time.
Yes but you’re not old enough/pretty enough/handsome enough/thin enough/tall enough/smart enough/you fill in the blank here.
Again, the question is what do you want to take with you into this new year? You are at choice in the matter.
When all is said and done, you may end up with a small rollerboard going forward, or if you choose to remain as you have always been, you might need a steamer trunk!
In all seriousness, it’s not easy to go through this process on your own. That’s why we have coaching programs – to help people breakthrough these barriers and walk proudly into their future.
At the present time we have only 2 spots open for new clients. You can learn more at http://www.drrosanne.com/Coaching..htm
Good luck in your journey.
Rosanne D’Ausilio, Ph.D.
President – Human Technologies Global Inc
3405 Morgan Drive – Carmel, NY 10512
845/520 6432 – fax 928/223-6165